Paper Hearts
by pink platypus
Summary: CAM "This is the worst part...being away from her."
1. Chapter 1

**Readers: **I would like to welcome you to my story. Hello stranger, thanks for taking the time to click on my title page.

**DISCLAIMER: **I _DO NOT_ OWN ANY RIGHTS TO ICARY AND OR AUDREY NIFFENEGGER'S NOVEL THE TIME TRAVELER'S WIFE (which is where the idea for this came from).

**Rated M: **If you do not find yourself emotionally mature enough to handle vulgar language, sex, and various other forms of M rated material please don't read and please don't slander me. Thanks a bunch. Also this is CAM story meaning a Carly and Sam pairing, so no homophobic comments, let's all be adults here.

_**Paper Hearts**_

**---///---**

**PROLOG**

(April 15, 2020) Sam is 34, Carly is 28

_**SAM:**_ This is the worst part. No, not standing in the Barnes&Noble parking lot in the dark completely naked, but being where she is not. I don't know what city or state I'm in, I don't know the date or time. I stand up from the black pavement and wince. I look over my body, checking for any permanent damages. My knees are bloody from the hard rocky landing and my mouth is dry.

I was getting ready for bed when it happened. I was in the bathroom, brushing my teeth with the new cinnamon toothpaste she bought me, when I disappeared. Rubbing my sore elbows I search for a clothing store, anything to get something on my back.

Good thing it's warm out, sometimes I'm not so lucky.

I walk, my bare feet padding the pavement and my body arched forward, arms warped around myself.

This is the worst part. I hate being away from her, existing in some frame of time where she is not near me. I ache to be with her again, I long to pull back the sheets of our bed and nestle my body against hers- to feel the heat. Carly's heat, the warmth of her breath on my skin.

I cannot control it; I can never foresee when I will suddenly jump through the hoop of time. One moment I'm happily making dinner, listening to my favorite indie album and the next, I'm on the floor of my old school's gymnasium. Or I'm standing outside some apartment back in 1975 freezing my ass off in the middle of winter. I don't understand it. Sometimes it comes suddenly I could be standing up from a chair or turning the corner on a street and then I vanish. Sometimes I feel sick to my stomach- I know its coming, the travel, the disappearing act- I run as fast as I can to a disserted area.

But it's always there, hovering over me. The maddening notion that at any second I could be gone suddenly transported to a new destination. So I take pleasure in simple every day actions, objects. All I ask for is something common, ordinary: my ratty black converse shoes, the smell of ham roasting in the oven, Carly's dark hair wet after a shower, extra change jingling in my pocket, fresh coconut cream pie, Carly's soft lips on my jaw, the fabric of my old _Tegan and Sara_ t-shirt.

And _God_, just Carly- always, always Carly. Her face when I'm back from disappearing, her hands deep in my hair when we kiss, the way my name sounds from her lips- a husky slur. Without her, nothing- I would be nothing- I would have died long ago. Died of heartbreak.

And that's precisely what it feels like, when leaving her, feels like my heart crumbling breaking slowly. But I must leave, I can't help it, I'm Sam Puckett- the time traveler.

(March 10, 2026) Sam is 34, Carly is 34

_**CARLY:**_It would be a horrendous lie if I said I felt nothing when she wanders to a time and place that I cannot follow. It would be an ugly lie if I said her traveling never once kept me from sleep, from worriedly biting my nails and crying hopelessly on the days she never came back to me unharmed.

I miss my Sam constantly when I come home to find a pile of clothes and nothing else. A pile of clothes left behind because she can never take anything or anyone along with her when she vanishes. An unknown disorder, a mystery disease lives inside my girl. I feel helpless.

All I can offer to her is my love. Above all else, I can only give her my heart and pray that it is enough, wish for it to demolish all other pain that rides inside of her. The pain that steals her from me in the dead of night and in the dawn of morning. The pain that she must always be sloshed about like water in a bucket from year to year- not living her life through and through like a straight line but zigzagged and crisscrossed. She is far from normal, but she is all mine and I love her, with all that I' am.

I turn over in bed and press my face into her pillow, wishing her back to me, back to my safe arms.

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**Readers: ** I do hope that wasn't all too terrible. Also, if anyone knows of an _iCarly_ beta reader then please inform me, I would like to improve on my writing and grammar. Now then, if you wish please leave comments. I would like to know if I should keep writing.


	2. Chapter 2

(October 20, 2007) Sam and Carly are 15

_**CARLY:**_ Freddie smiles while holding the camera making a thumbs up sign at me and Sam as we finish our last skit of the night. Today's special was interesting artwork made of meatballs. The winner was Donnie from Texas who made a life size model of a bull.

"Well that's all folks!" I announce shrugging as I throw an arm around Sam's shoulder, pulling her closer for the final scene.

"Yeah, so beat it knuckleheads!" She adds playfully.

Freddie rolls his eyes, "And we're clear!" He says turning off the camera and setting it down next to his laptop.

I grab my water bottle and collapse onto the purple bean bag chair with a tired sigh. This week's been rough. My AP English class is very demanding this year and I still haven't finished my thesis paper on Herman Melville's novel of Billy Bud.

Freddie fiddles with our online website as I take a large gulp of water. "I'm thinkin' we should change the background to blue, what do you guys think?" He inquires not looking up from the laptop.

"Sure," I shrug, "Sam what do you think?" All the attention shifts to Sam who is standing with her hand on her forehead. "Sam?" I ask again, my heart quickening, she looks so very pale.

"I gotta… I'll be right back," Sam mumbles as she races through the doorway and out into the hall.

"Sam!" I cry after her. Freddie looks out into the hallway.

"She's not there," He remarks dumbfounded.

Later, after Freddie packs his equipment up and heads home I find myself standing outside the bathroom door, confusion bubbling up inside of me.

Why are Sam's clothes lying on the ground?

(November 2, 1999) Sam is 15

_**SAM:**_ Damn it to hell! I'm on my knees outside some motel puking my guts out on the gravel road. One minute I'm doing _iCarly_ the next I'm here out in the middle of nowhere and its cold and wet and Jesus Christ I can't stop puking! My whole body lurches forward as the contents of my stomach are plastered onto the ground making a rather large puddle. Oh hell, I'm sore.

I stop, suddenly, and wipe my mouth with the back of my hand. I gulp in the cold air, filling my lungs with a great inhale then exhaling dramatically. Having gained some perspective I notice that I'm crying. Tears are streaming down my face and my chest burns. And shit, I have no idea where I' am.

I hate this! I hate this!

My only light belongs to the red neon motel sign behind me. Having caught my breath now, the nausea leaving me, I let the cold sweat of fear drape over me. This sounds like the beginning of some kind of horror flick- naked girl stranded in hick town, nowhere to go, and nowhere to run.

Damn it to hell!

I bring my knees to my chest and sit, waiting, waiting for my time to come when I can be safe inside Carly's apartment.

(October 20, 2007) Sam is 40 and 15 and Carly is 15

_**CARLY:**_ I've folded up Sam's clothes and set them on the end table next to the bathroom door. Spencer is working late at the studio and I'm getting scared. Sam was supposed to spend the night. Where could she have gone? And why didn't she bring her clothes with her?!

_Thump!_

I jump hearing a loud crash coming from the kitchen. I grab a tennis racket from the closet and quietly make my way down the stairs. My breath hitches up in my throat as I slowly inch my way to the kitchen, sweat begins to drench my palms as they grip the tennis racket fiercely. A low moan sounds echoing through the loft.

"Show yourself!" I shout jumping out into the open, tennis racket out and ready to attack.

A strange sight greets me. A very naked woman is on her side curled up into a tight ball on my title floor. My mouth hangs open, eyes wide in disbelief.

The woman stretches, slowly easing herself uncurled. And then she meets my flabbergasted stare.

"Carly?" She whispers, her voice cracking over at the end. She stares up at me in an awkward position- body curved in attempt to cover herself but her eyes meet mine. And I'm struck at how much they remind me of-

"It's me S-Sam."

"Huh?"

She looks around the loft quickly, eyes scanning the perimeter. "Hey, Carls, do you think you could get me, say I don't know, a blanket… or a shirt… pants… bra maybe?"

My feet feel strangely glued to their spot with the tennis racket still out stretched in my hands.

"No!" I shout, "Who are you? And why are you in my house?!"

She sighs tiredly, "Get me a blanket and we'll talk, ankle promise."

Ankle promise? How does she know about that?

Giving up, I grab the brown afghan that's lying on the couch and throw it to the Sam impersonator. She wraps the afghan securely around herself and uses the kitchen island to help steady her body as she eases upward.

"Thanks." She breathes heavily, as if merely getting up took all her energy. I set the racket down deciding if this woman were to attack me it would have already happened and besides, I could take her… But then again, there is something about her, I feel oddly calm, as if I know her somehow.

_**SAM:**_ I feel better having the warmth of the blanket. God, I'm freezing. I watch Carly with a smirk as she lays the tennis racket down and slowly backs away from me as if I'd bite her. Guessing from this less then warm welcome she doesn't know about my abilities yet. How does one even begin to explain time travel to their best friend/future lover?

God she looks so… so _young_.

I take a seat on the couch and motion for her to sit as well. She does, sitting as far away from me as possible, practically on the edge of the couch.

"Hello, Carly," I start once discovering my voice, "This is going to sound… well, insane to you, but," I place a hand to my chest and try smiling, "I'm Sam, from the future."

Carly raises an eyebrow, ooh, I love her quizzical look.

"Just hear me out," I say holding up both hands, "See, here's the thing, I can time travel. I don't why or how, but I just can," I pause searching her face but it's like a blank canvas so I continue with caution, "It has something to do with my genes I think, I don't want to go into an excruciating amount of detail, I leave that up to my doctor, but babe, it's me, Sam, please believe me."

She tilts her head to the side, letting her long black hair fall off her shoulder. Her dark chocolate eyes size me up. I wait, breath caught in my throat, Carly at any age, any time still makes me crazy and her piercing stare only makes it worse.

"I do-" She begins but is interrupted as a loud crash sounds upstairs. "Oh my God!" Carly cries clearly bewildered at all the commotion, "Are there more time traveling crazy people?!" She shouts frantically.

We both turn our heads to watch a younger version of myself come walking down the stairs in a t-shirt and jeans with a pale face and ghostly expression. Oh man, I remember that time travel. Like a wave it all comes crashing back to me.

"Carly?" Younger me questions.

Carly leaps from the couch and runs to her Sam and hugs little me in a firm embrace. "Sam!" Carly says after pulling away, "This loony says she's you from the future!"

"Uhh…" Is all the fifteen year old me can muster, still dazed from her travel. She looks to me, eyes worn and tried, body sagging, but she manages to continue, "Carls, whatever that lady said is true. I travel through time, unwillingly that is."

I watch the scene unfold, Carly's gaze wanders from me to Sam over and over, mouth shut and brow creased in thought.

"I… I think I need to sit," Carly declares after a moment, "This is _huge_." She places a hand to the back of her neck and sits beside me on the couch. Younger Sam leans up against the wall for support. I remember this day, God it still feels so strange. I remember what fifteen year old Sam is feeling now. She's drained of all energy. For Carly, Sam was gone for an hour two hours tops, but for younger Sam it was longer, it was an entire night of sitting in the dark, cold and sick.

Sam meets my gaze, I know what she's searching my face for, she wants to know- does it get better? Worse? And Carly, she wants to know what becomes of Carly and herself. So I give her the answer I remember when standing in her shoes so many years ago. I adjust my position on the couch, body turning to Sam, "No, yes," I pause then look to Carly then back to Sam and smile, "A beautiful mess."

And I'm gone; I vanish, like a magic trick.

_**CARLY:**_ Oh my God. The brown afghan suddenly goes limp and collapses onto the couch, the woman no where in sight. It's true, it must be, it must be… but how? I can't wrap my head around it. I can't, my mind fails me. "Sam!" I say leaping up and going to her, "Why didn't you tell me?"

She looks dead. Sam doesn't say anything she simply slouches against the wall with a pained expression over her face. I touch her shoulder, "I think you should rest."

She lets me pull her away from the wall and onto the couch where I pull the blanket up from the floor and wrap it around Sam's shivering body. I'll wait until morning to get my answers.

(October 21, 2007) Sam and Carly are 15

_**SAM:**_ I feel like someone took a sledgehammer and bashed my head in a billion times. Man oh man. I sit up on Carly's couch and yawn while scratching my ear. I'm not sure what time it is and for a second I can't help but think that maybe I time traveled here. Throwing the blanket off me I check. Nope, I'm dressed. Time traveling means nudeness, weird and uncomfortable nudeness. Last week I traveled back to 1980 and bumped into an old lady who screamed bloody freakin' murder when she found me butt naked outside her apartment door… That was actually pretty funny, hard to explain to the cop but funny.

"I made waffles."

I look over at Carly sitting at the kitchen table. "Nice." I say with a smile, I try getting up but my whole body hurts. I wince but make it to the table, when it comes to food pain can wait. I dig in and Carly watches me with a hurt expression.

"W'at?" I ask, mouth full of waffles.

She clasps her hands together and sighs, "Are you seriously just going to sit there and eat without talking about last night?"

I swallow, "I thought we kinda already discussed it… I'm more of a freak then you thought." I shrug while leaning across the table for more of the maple syrup. Carly rolls her eyes and passes the syrup to me.

"No, Sam, I want to know why you didn't trust me enough to tell me." She explains, her eyes now glued to the table as she fidgets with a silver spoon.

I can't help but laugh a little, "You would have thought I was crazy… and you did."

"But only for a minute!" Carly protests looking up to face me.

I groan, "Can I please finish eating? You know this conversation won't get anywhere if I don't eat."

"Fine." Carly grumbles.

"Good girl," I tease, cutting up my fourth waffle.

Carly's lips twitch into a smile, "It's good to see you haven't lost your humor."

I push the late bites of my breakfast around and around on the white plate, "So where's Spencer?"

Carly raises her eyebrow and smiles, "I thought you didn't want to talk?"

"Well," I say pushing the plate away from me and leaning back in the seat, "I changed my mind."

She shakes her head, "He's still sleeping."

"Late night?"

She nods.

I take a moment to stare at her. Carly in the morning without a trace of make-up or styled hair is breathtaking in a strange way. She makes my insides feel funny, as if they are twisting up but not as if I'm about to time travel, no, when I travel my inside twist up and burn. But with Carly, I feel airy, everything clenches up, but in a good way. She makes me feel… different.

Her dark eyes keep looking to me, her lips pursed in a less then satisfied line, showing me that she is frustrated.

The front door opens. "Carly!" Freddie remarks cheerfully walking over to us, "Oh," He's face falls catching a glimpse of me, "Hello Sam." He frowns.

"Hello, _Fredward_," I snap back while crossing my arms over my chest, "Why are you here?"

Carly glares at me then smile up at Freddie, "What Sam means to say is-"

"Don't Carly, Sam's just naturally an obnoxious jerk," Fredward the ass comments taking a seat next to Carly, "Anyway, I'm here for Spencer, we were supposed to go fencing this morning." He says looking over at the plate of uneaten waffles Carly made.

"Go ahead," Carly sighs pointing to the breakfast food. I take my plate and lay it in the sink with a loud clank. I hate watching Carly be nice to that nerd. I hate seeing him, being near him, hell, I hate sharing oxygen with him.

"I'll go get Spencer, and Sam," Carly stops as she stands to leave, "Play nice."

I give Carly a salute and she turns away to wake Spencer. I tilt my head in thought as I watch Carly walk towards Spencer's room… has Carly always had a nice backside?

(November 3, 2007) Sam is 15 and 6, Carly is 15

_**SAM:**_ I'm lying in bed. My mom isn't home, she's working the night shift at _Joe's Coffee House_. I think it's around ten at night, my alarm clock broke after the power went out from the thunderstorm. It's drizzling now, I feel like calling someone.

I hear my bedroom door being opened and quickly sit up. "Whose there?!"

"Me." A tiny voice says.

I'm looking at a significantly younger version of myself. She's got mom's white bathrobe on and walks over to me, practically tripping over the long robe.

"Can I sleep with you? I was sleeping but now I don't know…" She looks so terrified. A tiny me shaking, I can't turn her away. I throw the covers up and invite her in our bed. She snuggles up next to me. I've always liked falling asleep knowing someone was with me. Maybe that's why Carly's house has always seemed so appealing, she let's me snuggle and never once taunts or tells anyone about it. Because what would people think? Knowing that Sam Puckett hates to be alone at night.

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**Readers: **If the mood finds you, tell me what you think.


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